Born and raised in a Catholic family, I grew up with the bible, and saying my prayers before meals and sleep. I was christened, and did my first communion in St. Mary’s church in Lae, PNG. When I matriculated into secondary schooling, I was sent to Melbourne and was boarding at a Catholic Boys School “Salesian College”. When I was not at school, I was forced to attend service Wednesdays, Saturday Nights and Sundays. This was when I started to question the faith, the Catholic church mainly referred to the New testament, and so I never grasped the whole faith, especially considering the teachings where it says you confess your sins to the Lord and they are forgiven, but in practice we had to confess to a priest and then as repentance say x number of “hail Mary’s” or other prayers for the sins.
I guess you could say I had the foundation of God with me but it was being delivered in a manner that contradicted itself, and because of this and my natural inquisitiveness I questioned regularly the teachings. On occasion the priests would shrug me off and on other occasions I would be told “it is not your place to question, it is your place to believe” to which I would reply “surely the Lord gave me a brain to think and to analyse the world around me, then why would he give me this without the option to question illogical practices?”. I was expelled from that school 13 months later.. not for questioning the teachings but another matter…
I returned to home, by then my siblings had all grown and my parents felt their obligation to take us to church and Sunday school ceased when we were sent to boarding school, so my spiritual journey was put on hiatus. Until a year later my parents thinking I would excel better at a Marist Brothers School in Cairns (a sect of the Catholic Church). I was back to my “old tricks” as my father used to say, questioning the teachings, questioning the practices and asking why one never followed the other. I was expelled again 13 months later after many un-eventful debates, and I was fobbed of with the “believe in the Lord with your heart the rest would follow”. But it never seemed to do because the logic was not there. My family returned to Melbourne and I attended the local high school (Williamstown). There I met some interesting Catholics who seemed to enjoy the debates and illogical arguments we would have over the teachings. (I believe 2 left the church after several rather strong arguments on my side.) I was eventually expelled from the Catholic Church.
In 1996 my Father passed away. And as I was still on a spiritual journey trying to find the truth or what rang true to me, I started to be swayed by the devil (not knowingly). I would see a shadow on my walls in my room and I would smell my fathers odour (a mix of old spice, tobacco and beer), I jumped online and posed my question to no one in particular to find out what it is/ or how do I find out etc.. I was soon delving into spiritualist activities and used a Ouija board and such. One person I met through discussions online was the person who introduced me to the Ancient and Mystical Order of the Rosea Crucia (Rose Cross), which encourages you to develop your psychic abilities through rituals. While I was delving into this I started up the Australian Ghost Hunters Society, in association with the International Ghost Hunters Society. My fellow co-founder Rowena took it over after 2 years when I delved into more bad stuff. Google my name you will see some of the things I did. I studied what I believed was a scientific way of exploring the spiritual realm, and was awarded a certified ghost hunter and later paranormal investigator. I performed many lectures and webinars on my investigations, and I even put my own theories out there. The Dean from the University of Metaphysical Arts saw some of my work and offered me a scholarship to study my PhD in Para-psychology and Meta physics, which I loved as it allowed me to explore the many religions of the world and it allowed my spiritual learning to flourish (in a bad way). I completed my studies was awarded my PhD. And encouraged to work for the university in Aus. But I felt greedy, and powerful and wanted more than that. While I studied my PhD I touched on some very dark stuff. (Black Magic), I forged my own ceremonial knife and staff, I performed some very dark magic and I felt powerful…. Then my world started crashing down around me, my relationship with my eldest daughters mother broke down, I had physical marks appearing on my body from unexplainable situations, I had spiritual attachments that would torment my sleep. I was not sure what to do… I was visited by some Muslim friends who worried about my personality changes that occurred in 6 months and asked if they could introduce me to their Imam, as I was down, lost and knew some about Islam I figured why not I cant get worse.. 3 months later I reverted to Islam. (Muslims believe we are all born Muslims). Then was when I knew something was missing… Jesus. He was there in the beginning (although in an obscure way) but now I am taught as a Muslim he is naught but a prophet of God. I was able to trick my mind to accept that for sometime, until my world came crushing around me again. My ex cheated on me, I was starting to question the teachings, and could not find the answers I was looking for. I stayed away from all religions, believed in God and the Angels, but was fuzzy about the rest.
In early April, a friend posted a conversation between Einstein and his professor at college:
“Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
Student: Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in GOD?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Professor: Is GOD good?
Professor: Is GOD all-powerful?
Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent.)
Professor: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?
Professor: Is Satan good?
Professor: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From … GOD …
Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Professor: So who created evil?
(Student did not answer.)
Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them?
(Student had no answer.)
Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
Student: No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student: No , sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Professor: According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Student: No, sir. There isn’t.
(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student: You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.
Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class was in uproar.)
Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class broke out into laughter)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.
I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you?
Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH.
By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.”
This was my awakening!! I needed Jesus in my life… then a few days later I met Simone online who stated she was a “Christian” oh no not the horrible “C” word it conjured up what we see regularly on TV, people shouting hallelujah and “Praise the Lord”… but for some reason I still made the contact. I enjoyed asking questions about her faith and although she tried to answer, she did mention she was new to the faith as well. We talked for about a week online and then on Anzac day she mentioned she was coming down to paint the church, and that her Pastor was going to be there and I was more than welcome to come down and help out and ask my questions…
With nothing to do, and well I have to admit I wanted to impress this one so I rocked up at the church. I was introduced to Julie as “this is the guy I was telling you about with the questions”
Julie welcomed me and said she may not have all the answers but she would be more than happy to try. (Inside my head I was thinking, “is that another fob off?”) I asked my first question, it was always my one to test the knowledge of the person I was asking (and honestly I can not remember what it was now) the answer rang true to my heart, I knew I was in the right place, I asked several other questions and again I heard things I have never heard. I was painting away, having a general chitchat when Stephen came in with Peta, Joel, Tiffany and Nathan… Introduced to them by Julie I felt welcome (not usually felt by me in most places). After a while I was all painted out and we all sat around a table having a cuppa and a chat, Stephen said, “I get this image of a person sitting at a table and he is writing down everything your saying and doing”. My heart was melting… this was my core my belief.. I will be held accountable for all my actions in life, this is what I had been taught, what had been drilled into me, he then said “the man just poured blood all over the book, and it was now clean.” In my head I was thinking how could this be? Then Tiffany read a scripture that she thought of and I was cleared of all doubt. I was in the right place.